Monday 5 December

These pictures are like a  reflection of my feelings today...

the leaves blown away from the trees, but...... the soil is fertile!!

Last night around 01.30 the night nurse Lies woke me up and told me to dial 112 as Panormitis was having an epileptic attack. My knees were shaking, I felt I was going to loose the world around me, memories came back from that first attack, on April 6th 2010 in Patmos.

Within 10 minutes the ambulance was here with the doctors and stabilized him. We decided to leave him with us home as in the hospital there is not much they can do anymore. He would just be troubled by their "protocol" and check ups. Immediately I was offered 24 hours home care, meaning a nurse will be around all day and night long.

After a long thought, we came to the conclusion that it would be better to take him into a hospice ( a place where he will have his own room, surrounded with small furniture, photographs and paintings from our house) we can stay overnight if we wish, stay for food, take him out for a break, feel free to do what we want. There he will have full care of a team of nurses who have a lot of experience with brain cancer and terminal patients.

After we visited the place I went home and when Panormitis was asleep I needed to "empty my head" with so many thoughts. That is when I saw the trees and felt that like me, maybe the trees also emptied their "heads "by shaking off all their leaves. And I noticed the grassy ground, which means that the "basic" is good, strong. It was right there, on that very moment, I felt we are making the right decision.

Please I ask you all very kindly not to phone these days, you can react on this blog or send me an email. I need to regain my energy as I will need all my strength to help us three through this difficult period.

Lots of filia we send out to all of you, our dearest families and friends....